Q: What is it that Ronald Reagan keeps trying to hide? A: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. He dubbed it the "Carnac Saver" and said in a 2009 interview, "I'll go to my grave having to apologize for having invented the Carnac Saver. Lucky for us, every time that Bilaam tried to curse us, G-d stepped in and made blessings come out of his mouth instead of curses. Q: What did the dead raccoon say in his will? Q: What is a mother of 27 children? Clarnac: May a diseased yak leave a gift on your new carpet. As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. Positive reaction would prompt disbelief from Carnac, stating the ease at which he could make people laugh, such as "This audience would laugh at Dinah Shore backing into a meat thermometer." A: Damnation Alley. A: Mop and Glow. A: Ninety-nine and nine-tenths. share. Currently showing results page 1,636 of 2,021. a #2 mayonnaise work? https://www.torchweb.org, Torah Outreach Resource Center of Houston, Please Patronize Our Calendar Advertisers - Full Listing. Lot #220 ED McMAHON JOHNNY CARSON CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT HAT. A: Rough cut. Q: What do you call an agreement with Don Rickles? The Question: What words of encouragement can you give to a person with a kidney stone? Q: What's the name of a drink made with beer and prune Q: What do you need after Hamburger Helper? Q: Name three people who sell a lot of junk. Here are a few of his curses: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your sister. Carnac the Magnificent: Three Dog Night & Mount Baldy on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show Johnny Carson 772K subscribers Subscribe 5.9K 1.1M views 11 years ago Watch Carson episodes every night on. Clarnac doing verbal comedy bit for the hearing impaired. Q: How do you introduce your cat to a weeping willow? Gotta be There were skits performed such as Carnac the Magnificent, an "all-knowing seer," and the elderly Aunt Blabby. May your children not forget you as they kneel to pray. , The Question: What is the most compelling reason for a mask mandate? Get Image May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. Q: What does your skalli do when it's happy? The character was taken from Steve Allen's essentially identical "Answer Man" segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host of The Tonight Show in the 1950s. CARNAC: May your favorite aunt develop a crust on her hip. (You should die young enough for her to walk there under her own steam.). The Question: What is the only kind of science the president, the CDC, the FDA, Fauci, Big Pharma, and the media use to promote their COVID agendas? Q: What do you call an outhouse built on quicksand? Or fastest delivery Mon, Mar 6 . The Answer: DOJ-CIA-NSA-IRS-AOC-FBI-BIDEN. A: Fondue. share. Our Story; Our Chefs carnac the magnificent curses BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. Carnac the Magnificent: [Holding the envelope to his head] Shogun. Here's Johnny Carson's Personal Papers, and How You Can See Them A: "Oh God!" I hope it makes you laugh. A: Shake and bake. A: The 11th Hour. plunger. Saint Sophia Cathedral is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and one of the most significant landmarks of Kiev, Ukraine. Longtime sidekick Ed McMahon ritualistically and bombastically introduced the Carnac routines. KeyCastr. Q: How would a wino see the three musketeers. | Replica prop, Johnny carson, Johnny Explore Men's Fashion Men's Accessories Men's Hats Uploaded to Pinterest Johnny Carson Johnny Carson Carnac the Magnificent replica prop hat. The Question: What is Kamala Harris strange path to the presidency? hair". Quotes by Carnac The Magnificent - The Quotation Station In this memorable skit, Carson and Betty White stripped down to their skivvies to reenact the divorce proceedings for humanitys first couple. . JOHNNY CARSON'S MAGICAL BEGINNINGS. Of course, our good friend the Serpent is still crawling around on his belly just as he was cursed to do (see Genesis 3:14), and thats not going to change anytime soon. ANSWER: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign promises. A: England, France and Greece. Q: What do you do if a Chinese laundry ruins your shirts? Q: Name an Eskimo porno film. Clarnac: May a diseased shih tzu hump your grandmothers good leg. compartment in your sister. A: Milk and honey. Related Topics. The Question: Name a drink made up of 7-Up and prune juice. A: Deep freeze. Line: 208 So we see that as we get closer and closer to the Messianic Era when the world will go back to a perfected state, curses are reverting all around us just as the Vilna Gaon predicted. Q: What do you call a French drink made with champagne and A: Jaws 2 and Capricorn One. you? Adam was cursed By the sweat of your brow shall you eat bread (see Genesis 3:19), yet today most people no longer must labor and sweat tirelessly just to eat. If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. Our users have written 2 comments and reviews about Carnac, and it has gotten 25 likes. A: O'Hare. Q: What are Ernest and Julio Gallo? A: A potato, Burt Reynolds and Sgt. CARNAC: May a weird doctor join you at the hump of a camel. Margaret's door? The Question: Whats a great name for a proctologist? The Question: Whats the name of Bidens black, female affirmative action nominee to the Supreme Court? 4.0 out of 5 stars Great for Carnac The Magnificent. Q: How did Marlon Perkins explain the rash on his thigh? CARNAC: May a bag of Pop Rocks explode in your shorts. A: Igloo. Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/controllers/Main.php Dressed as Hamlet while reciting lines from the play, Carson continually broke character to promote new products. Screenkey. Q: What do you call it when old topless dancers refuse to Although he retired in 1992 and died in 2005, the consensus remains that Johnny Carson was the greatest late night-talk show ever. Q: Name the loser in the 1976 presidential race. Q: What does the Tidy Bowl man have when he sleeps? . The Question: What do you call a guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary? The Answer: Dumbo, Eeyour, and Mitt Romney. Q: Describe the Nixon income tax deductions. A: Skalliwags. A: You asked for it. A: Executive action. . Comedic Curses - Google Groups Clarnac: Well see how it goes, if Clarnac can find his reading glasses. Ed: Often times, thats exactly what Clarnac gets. I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. A: Natural gas. The Temple was destroyed, and Israel was left with neither kings nor kingdom. A: 2001. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. Q: Who was just arrested for impersonating a baseball team? We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers. Q: Name an address Anita Bryant will never have. Line: 315 Johnny Carson "Carnak The Magnificent" One Liners | The Spoof The resulting jokes often involved puns or wordplay; for example, "The La Brea Tar Pits" was the answer to "What do you have left after eating the La Brea Tar Peaches? May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. Q: Name one guy who's rich after April 15th. Make your own images with our Meme Generator or Animated GIF Maker. At the same time, Eves curses also seem to have been reverted. They've been kept in In his final message, Carson choked back tears while thanking fans for their continual support. A client of mine was hosting a dinner party, wanted to entertain her guests by re-enacting this skit between Johnny Carson and Ed . What is missing here is his delivery. . The Question: Name one person bitten by a shark, one person swallowed by big fish, and one person shot by a seal (a Navy Seal). May a diseased yak leave a gift on your new carpet. Page, Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page. be sending Georgia soon? May all your fine teeth get mad and bite off your nose.May you own a hotel with a thousand rooms and you be found dead in each one.May you have many daughters, who all marry [some sort you generically don't like]. A: Green thumb. A little hard to keep on. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Q: What do crabs get high on? A: Clean air, a virgin and a gas station open on Sunday. A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo. (Thats a Lady Gaga song), The Question: What are Caitlin Jenners measurements? Icons & Idols Hollywood (#1212) 12/01/2011 9:00 AM PST CLOSED! Price starting at $87.97 for basic 5,000 sq. . A: Sissss, Boooom, Baaaaah! CARNAC: May your desert pension fund be managed by Jimmy 2004 upper deck baseball cards. A: Eight is enough. Make a meme Make a gif Make a chart The Magical Thinking of Trump. these envelopes, I found something I always wanted to do, Carson said. . The Question: Why do most married men die before their wives? A: Ransack. A: Rub-a-dub-dub. kaleido? What Johnny Carson can teach us about the modern mainstream media QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare? The segment included several running gags. A: At both ends. (Joke only good for Central Mississippi folks). Kitchy-Kitchy? May you be blessed with a son so smart he learns the mourner's prayerbefore his Bar-Mitzvah speech. The Answer: Because they are afraid someone will clean them. Amazon.com: Carnac The Magnificent , The Question: Who is the Democrat Congressman in Mississippis 2nd Congressional District? A: Gunga din. A: Baja. The answer was always an outrageous pun. Find Funny GIFs, Cute GIFs, Reaction GIFs and more. Forum Novelties. Q: What's in Jimmy Dean's sausages? During one of his infamous animal interactions, Johnny Carson got up close and very personal with a Burmese python. 1952? Flashback Friday: Heeeere's Carnac! | National Enquirer The Answer: 2 million, 83 thousand, three-hundred thirty-three dollars and thirty three cents per pound. Watch now: Free with ads. Q: Name a bake-off, a hiccough and a ripoff. 40 Years Ago, Johnny Carson Tells Most Famous Joke - KPEL 96.5 And even people who dont work at all need not starve, as food banks and charities abound, and governments provide welfare. . "Reading the contents of the envelope:"Name three things that have yeast. A: Ironware. While all were memorable, its her duet with Carson thats particularly unforgettable. Get Image Page 1 of 4 , The Question: What is the name the new Disney fat stripper movie. (Original post) Gladys Knight and the Pips. A: "Follow the yellow brick road." Q: What does the Tidy Bowl man yell when he hears flushing? The comedy came from an unexpected question following a seemingly straightforward answer. Function: view, Recurring character on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose, "Ed McMahon,'Tonight Show' Stalwart, Dies", "STERNAC THE IMPROBABLE RETURNS WITH ANSWERS ABOUT NASCAR, GAMESTOP, AND JASON KAPLAN'S DIET", Here's Johnny: Magic Moments from the Tonight Show, Race Through New York Starring Jimmy Fallon, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Carnac_the_Magnificent&oldid=1065449461. toilet is stopped up? Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. 40 Carnac The Magnificent Premium High Res Photos Large Old Johnny Carson King of the Night Pin Back Button These jokes aren't mine, copyright on them is held by the The Question: How did the dinosaurs become extinct? QUESTION: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. shorts. A: Pat and Debby Boone. Another that I heard last night on the syndicated "Carson's Comedy Classics": "May the Swami of Baghdad squat on your fez", "May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister! Carnac the Magnificent Turban/Hat Metapost: Let's talk COTW, kids - The Comics Curmudgeon The Question: What do you call a cocktail made up of prune juice and Milk of Magnesia? A: Gatorade. #10. Is that a reptile? Q: What would you find in Superman's bathroom? A: The Newlywed Game. Return to Humor Page Browse more quotes by famous person's name. Q: How do you tell a Sha not to do something? A: Dustin Hoffman. A: The eye of a frog, the wing of a fly and the throat of a Line: 107 ANSWER: Gatorade. Q: What does a masseuse do to your dub-dub? Sacred Marvels: 17 Cathedrals That Will Take Your Breath Away, In Q: What do you call Hershey's Prune Kisses? Q: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. A: The big ten. Sometimes Clarnac has to leave quickly. A: The Loch Ness Monster. The book is {\it May You! QUESTION: What does the president of Nestea use when his The Answer: An Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy, and two Golden Globes. The Answer: An I-Phone, a cable bill, and a BMW lease. A: High rollers. Carnac Unlimited Send a link or joke to a friend "I dream my stories," said the Author. Carnac the Magnificent: [Opening envelope] What's the first thing you do when you hold up a liquor store? sister's hope chest. The Answer: They found no brain activity. May a sick ox make bubbles in your hot tub. It is entirely fictitious. , The Question: What do you call pedestrians trying to cross I-220? Carnac the Magnificent was one of the most popular recurring roles that Johnny Carson played on his show in 1964. lets have a big round of applause for Clarnac the Magnificent. Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your Q: Who will they find sooner than Jimmy Hoffa? In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as Carnac the Magnificent. Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the answers to questions that were sealed in an envelope. The Question: What are three things less endangered than our freedom? Johnny Carson: Self - Host, Carnac the Magnificent A list of Carnac the Magnificent puns! The Answer: Dr. Ben Casey, Dr. James Kildaire, Dr. Doogie Howser, Dr. Marcus Welby, Granny Moses (Beverly Hills) and Dr. Anthony Fauci. "Oh, As well, Eve was cursed that her husband should rule over her (see Genesis ibid), yet with the Womens Rights movement this has changed in a big way. Q: Name three movements. Baseball-Reference.com Win Probability - New York Yankees vs. Boston Red Sox, May 30 1961 t1 b1 t2 b2 t3 b3 t4 b4 t5 b5 t6 b6 t7 b7 t8 b8 t9 b9 BOS 50% NYY. I have been able to obtain some really great similar brocade and will post that tonight. Feel free to laugh, but beware! puppies and red-eye gravy. folks who ran "The Tonight Show" in the 70's. Carnac the Magnificent - Unionpedia, the concept map . Unfortunately, as I age but my clients don't, more and more of them . , The Question: Whats the only way to get your spouse to listen to you? Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Q: Name a fawn, a lawn and a yawn. ft. coverage regular price $109.95 Calendar & Tip Sheet January Calendar January Tipsheet Marty's Acre Drinks on the Acre February 13 - 5:30 PM The 2nd Monday of every month we invite you to join us on location at Marty's Acre to talk gardening and enjoy a selection of brew chosen by Marty. A: An emerald, a screwdriver, and Chuck Barris. Q: What comes after Timbuk-one? Quotes by Carnac The Magnificent - Page 2 - TheQuotation Station The famous sage and soothsayer, all-knowing, all-seeing, all-omniscient, a weekend proctologist, and former Twitter advisor for President Donald J. Trump. A: Fun with Dick and Jane. , The Question: Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were in Congress. Return to Political Humor Get a random spoof news story. CARNAC: May an untouchable take a liking to your only CARNAC: May a weird holy man light a Roman candle in your A: Sir Lawrence Olivier, the Oscars and the oil shortage. [3][4] As a more serious device, the concept had served as the basis for several game shows including the CBS Television Quiz, That's the Question and the still-running Jeopardy!, which aired on NBC for much of Carson's run on Tonight. Q: What noise do sheep make when they laugh? Pat McCormickwrote some of the zaniest Carnac material. Johnny Carson entertained audiences for 30 years as the host of The Tonight Show. From Carnac the Magnificent to his very close encounter with a python, heres our list of Carsons greatest moments. Q: What's the one thing Sammy Davis is not wearing around CARNAC: May a carsick mongoose change the color of your The Question: Why do they lock gas station restrooms? [Ed Ames has thrown a tomahawk across the stage, hitting a painting of a cowboy straight in the "crotch".