George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads 125 Best George Carlin QuotesFunny George Carlin Quotes on Life return false; What if I want to have a crappy day?George Carlin, Not only do I not know whats going on, I wouldnt know what to do about it if I did.George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.George Carlin, So, have a little fun. Before, all you had to go by were these 14 quotes. Seems like a big waste of time to me! I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. People cant seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure. googletag.pubads().enableSingleRequest(); You have owners. Quotes by George Carlin One of the most iconic comedians of all time. Some people see things that are and ask, Why? 1. George Carlin George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, social critic, actor, and author Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English. George Carlin political quotes may seem sensitive, but they inspire necessary conversations. George Carlin Quotes Government George Carlin American Comedian born on May 12, 1937, died on June 22, 2008 George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. Were gonna save the fuckin planet? And, by the way, theres nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? I have certain rules I live by. Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Whether youre looking for inspirational or funny quotes by George Carlin or whether youre looking for his famous quotes politics and education, its all here. !function(){function n(n,t){var r=i(n);return t&&(r=r("instance",t)),r}var r=[],c=0,i=function(t){return function(){var n=c++;return r.push([t,[].slice.call(arguments,0),n,{time:Date.now()}]),i(n)}};n._s=r,this.csa=n}(); When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. Thats the problem., I call him Governor Bush because thats the only political office hes ever held legally in this country., Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance., Forget the politicians. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear themusic. We are in a country, and in a world that is run by people who brainwash , . One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. A Death! there's no such thing as rights. apstag.init({ I think that speaks for itself. 14 George Carlin Quotes on Education, Kids & Parents - Fatherly What exactly is viewer discretion? Don't forget: YOU have the power to make ANYTHING happen. They own everything. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. Because theres no money in that problem. Property is theft. Quote by George Carlin: "Political correctness is fascism pretending to Men are often so foolish as to boast and value themselves upon their passions, even those that are most vicious. [CDATA[ "Government want to tell you things you can't say because they're against the law, or you can't say this because it's against a regulation, or here's something you can't say because its a.secret; "You can't tell him that because he's not cleared to know that." Government wants to control information and control . If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. Nobody seems to care. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. Its a great feeling. George Carlin died on June 22, 2008, from cardiac failure at the age of 71. Its so fuckin heroic.George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.George Carlin, If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?George Carlin, I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? session: { id: "334-5362882-2183381" }, This video is an ideal way to start your day off on a funny and thought provoking note and stay inspired through. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate.George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.'. George Carlin Quotes Government. QuotesGram If the parent corporation doesn't want you to know something, it won't be on the news. Press Enter / Return to begin your search. They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. I have certain rules I live by. God has a three-day weekend.George Carlin, Theres a humorous side to every situation. Laugh often, long and loud. "Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it." ~ (George Carlin). If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air. George Carlin, 54. Witty George Carlin Quotes 1. Born: May 12, 1937. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. var url; We havent tried that for a while. I started this website because I wanted to help people like you to maximize their potential and achieve their dreams. "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music." - George Carlin 4. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. You don't. You have no choice. 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Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. They should be more vivid. Continue with Recommended Cookies. They own, and control the corporations. . We think in language. George Carlin - Quotes, Death & 7 Words - Biography if (window.Mobvious === undefined) { What are your favorite George Carlin quotes? Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. Thats the problem.George Carlin, Let a smile be your umbrella, and youll end up with a face full of rain. g.parentNode.insertBefore(A, g) Your email address will not be published. Others see it half empty.I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be.George Carlin, Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. try { He loves you. George Carlin. "Everyone smiles in the same language." ~ (George Carlin). You dont. } else { Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. George Carlin, 45. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. 4. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. The people are fucked.George Carlin, A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed.George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.George Carlin, I think I am, therefore, I am I think.George Carlin, Everyone smiles in the same language.George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think.George Carlin, Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.